The One Question That Will Unlock Your Personal Style

The Art of Personal Style_Self-awareness_Body image_Worthiness_Abundance_Plus Size Style_Personal Style_Intuitive Lifestyle_Personal Style of Living_Slow Fashion_Everyday rituals_Life purpose_Happiness_Inclusive Fashion_beaton linen

When I began my journey with personal style, I approached it with a very serious mindset. I overanalyzed and debated every single purchase, convinced each decision would somehow change my life. I believed I had to get the decision right otherwise it would be a colossal mistake, I’d be broke, and wouldn’t able to get the piece that I should’ve picked {oh, hello lack mindset}. My expectations for every single piece were so overwhelming there was no space for lightness, play or fun. I missed having some spontaneity, and noticed it was becoming a theme in other areas of my life.

Then, I uncovered the one question that helped shift everything - not just my style.

The last few months I went through a bit of a dark night of the soul. Life felt heavy, and I was struggling to see the point of it all. I became so focused on solving the riddles of “who am I?” and “what is my purpose?” that I forgot about being that person.

I approached living with the gravity I thought it deserved while missing out on participating in life. I forgot to laugh and play or take pleasure in wearing my beautiful clothing while moving, resting and nourishing this human vehicle I call my body.

Here’s the thing: humans need balance.

Intention is important, as is living in alignment with my values and highest self. But that doesn’t mean I have to be austere and somber 24/7. One of my core values is fun, yet I was entirely neglecting it. Upon realizing this, I made a commitment to bring more lightness into my day. My soul was yearning for laughter and play. When I’m trying to shift something in my life, I begin with baby steps. I like to start with my wardrobe, as I find it to be both powerful and efficient {ps: here’s why}.

I was surprised to find that when I started trying to wear outfits that lit me up, I would hear this voice in my head saying “you can’t wear that”, “people will look at you funny”, and the good ol’ “who do you think you are?”. I got trapped in downward spiral deep into my soul-swamp, concerned about how people would see me.

I had flashbacks to elementary school of wearing my favourite outfits and being laughed at. I remembered the stares I would get walking down the streets of the small Alberta town I grew up in. I could vividly remember how awful every single moment of it felt. It’s hard not fitting in, so I learned how to express myself just enough to that I felt sort of satisfied but didn’t ruffle too many feathers.

I had figured out how to be myself within society’s standards and keep myself “safe”. That mindset is what was running the show more than a decade later. Turns out the actual trigger for my disheartening sense of ennui was not feeling safe enough to fully be myself.

“what would I wear if I didn’t care what people thought of me?”

I knew shifting this belief and moving forward would require some serious bravery. I began asking myself “what would I wear if I didn’t care what people thought of me?” every time I got dressed. I let myself run free with creativity, tapping into my intuition as to what would best serve me that day. Then, I challenged myself to wear it. It blows my mind how something so small can require so much courage {especially when I thought I had this shit mastered already… ugh}.

It was obvs daunting, so I started by doing this once or twice a week, slowly adding more days as I settled into fully owning who I am. Eventually I built a foundation of confidence strong enough to empower me to be brave everyday. I must say: it is so freeing!!! This practice has already shifted some seriously deep limiting beliefs I didn’t even know I were bopping around in my subconscious {still, because humans are as deep as Mumma Earth’s oceans}, and the growth just keeps on coming.

Sometimes things that are most in alignment with my true self make me stand out, marked as clearly different. Whether it’s my clothing, armpit hair, life choices, I seem different from the norm. But here’s the thing: I am different. And I like it that way. Sure, it’s scary af sometimes; many of my choices require so much faith and bravery I’m in awe of myself. My journey has been a gift in showing me that I am strong, creative and resilient.

I also know I can only be the best me if I fully embody my uniqueness. Life is too short to do anything else. I don’t want to lose a moment of fun and happiness worrying about what other people think of me.

What started out as a simple exercise to bring a little more fun into my day turned into something pretty profound. I’m constantly in awe of the power clothing has, and the ways it can be used to help us be our best selves in this life.

With a little intention, mindfulness and curiosity, you can use your wardrobe to dive even deeper into figuring out who you are, what you want and how to be brave enough to go after it. If you would love a little support and guidance, I can help! Check out the course here, or one-on-one services here.